~ busy ~

i am sorry for not posting for a long time..i am really busy right now with a lot of works , presentations and assignments, it is too much for my brain to handle! my life is kinda hectic and sometime i'm losing myself, haha..nothing much to write, hoping everyone in good health..hope to post in again anytime soon..

ai-na : it is too much!!  

~ my dear friend ~

Dear friend,

You are so shy and afraid to go forward

You always stay behind others and watch from a far

You afraid of saying your thoughts that you think may hurt others

You keep quiet and accept everything

Even when you disagree, you just keep it to yourself

I know when you feel like crying, you just throw the feeling away

You feel alone but you never say so

I saw the other side of you that peeking out, wanting to come out

I saw everything that you gone through, but you still keep it to yourself

I am sorry for not being there when you need me the most

I am sorry for not helping you when I know you are in trouble

I am sorry for staying away from you

I am sorry for not being a good friend to you

I am sorry for everything…

~ walking down the memory lane ~

I joined ‘Larian Melati’ today for my college festival. It has been, what, 3 years ago since I ran, so, you should have guess that I did not won any place. Haha! It was very tiring, as we had to run around the UiTM. This is the first time I go around the UiTM by foot! Our starting line is at the back of our college leading to this ‘Bukit Tonggek’ (because you need to tonggek when climbing even using motorcycles, haha!) This bukit is 45 degree (I think) and the reason I was left behind. After climbing the bukit, my leg was like jelly. I started to panic; oh please do not collapse Aina! Alhamdulillah, I manage to continue my run, haha!

Along the way, my mind was flooded with memories from the past. It seems alive, I can hear the laughter, see the faces of my friends and feel the excitement. I miss you guys! I remembered when we were running back in primary school during the sports day (Asma’ Aminuddin , you shine in secondary school! A fast runner at that time); we were competing each other and comparing who got the fastest time. At one time, we support each other; support the house, uhud, badar, khandak and khaibar. I was in Badar from standard 1 to 3 and was in Uhud from standard 4 to 6. I think they do not called that now. Sometime, we will go against each other, fighting of which house is better, and then we forget it all and become close again. Childish, I know. But that make us closer. I really miss those times.

In secondary school, we run for marathon. I remember my running partners, Ain and Musyirah(where are you girls, I missed you!). Whenever there a marathon competition, Ain, Musyirah and I will plan our strategy on how to win. We will start at the very front line and start running at slow pace. Then we count those who run past us until 10 people. And we start increasing our pace, run past them one by one until we know that we are ahead of everyone. We control our running but never stop for a walk. Even if we are tired we still run slowly but moving. In form 2, using this strategy we won 1st, 2nd and 3rd place. Ain in the 1st place, me in 2nd followed by Musyirah in 3rd. That is one of the happy memories that I will never forget about running.

When I was in MRSM, there is a jogathon competition. I still use the same strategy but without my partners, I felt alone. I won, but in the 13th place. Still good enough eh? Running will never be the same without you girls! But I still remember my friends, Syaimaa’, Nabihah, Asma’ Aminuddin who are a great runner themselves. I envied you all. Then, I remember the time when we were in Java. Thinking of you reminds me of what we had done, what we had been through. We learn a lot together, we cry, we laugh and even quarrel. Without you, I am nobody. All of you are precious to me; I don’t want to lose you, never. I always want to be there for you when you need somebody to go through your life. But, we were separated by our future, time and thoughts. Just make sure that all of you are always in my heart. Always.

ai-na : bila nak wat reunion lagi?

~ Last breath... ~

A long weekend! (its 3 days!) Yesterday I went to visit my little sister in her place around Subang, being a good sister I am (perasan!). Just wasting my time there actually, seeing her study, watching TV and sleep (haha!) We spent some, you may say quality time together as sisters, telling jokes and laughing around. We went to eat, window shopping and all sort of stupid and some genius stuff.

Well, I went back to place today as I have a lot of homework to do. On our way, (she came with me for lunch) we saw this one cute kitten with blue eyes. Adorable! Then, somewhere ahead of us there are a silver Honda Civic just came out from the parking spot and zoom off. Then my sister said, there is a new kitten, gray-white colour, there. So I went there, and I saw not only one but two new kittens! One was the gray-white colour and the other was black. The black kitten was lying and the mother were licking its body. The sibling (i suppose!) was nudging the black kitten's body as if saying, 'come on, get up' (i'm learning cat language, haha!). I was curios as why the black kitten just laid there so I came near. Then, the black kitten turned towards us and I saw a set of beautiful sparkling blue eyes (i'm not exaggerating!). I never thought to see such a beautiful eyes, but something amiss behind those eyes. We keep on looking at it, and the black kitten just stared at us as if trying to say, 'could you please help me'.

I saw a few feet away from us, there are three Japanese or Korean guys(i'm not sure) were staring at the three cat, the black kitten in particular. My sister said maybe the black kitten is dying because of being hit by the car. The kitten couldn't get up! And it still staring at us, begging us with the look. And later, it turn its head and became still. I thought it was dead, then I came nearer to look. The mother had stop licking and just sat still beside it, the other kitten had also sat still across it's sibling. I saw the black kitten heaving a sharp breath, once, twice and I couldn't look no more. My sister make an attempt to go nearer but I stop her, I said don't look at it when it is its time to go. The mother and the sibling also didn't look at it.
I dragged my sister away from the family, and just look from afar. The guys came to us and asked if the kitten had died, but my sister just said its dying. Just imagine, looking at the kitten's eyes in the last minutes of its life. I still can't forget the look on the kitten eyes, as the light seems to fade away, so as its soul. I felt hopeless, can't help the kitten. Then we just move on, feeling very sad. Yeah, and bad-mouthing (not too harsh, dont worry!) the unresponsible driver.

We had our lunch and I bought some stuff for myself then I'm off to my place. After settling down, I text my sister to make sure she had reach her place. And, she told me another bad news! The grey-white kitten is dead! The head was squashed, and bits of it were sprayed around. It's gruesome, if you can imagine it, but it is so sad. They died side by side. In just a few hours, the mother had lost two kitten! My sister and I called whoever the killer, 'the cat slayer'. Maybe you can say that the driver didn't see the kittens were under the car but can't you just peek under or look around. They should know that the area has a lot of cats around. Just check around, it won't cost you anyway.

So, lesson for today : Check under and around your car before you move away, better that way than being a killer!

ai-na : I missed my cat..

~tagged~

i have know idea of this tag game! anyone? tag with what? i tagged muyaaa la..

~ What should we do? ~

Been thinking a lot! Well, I’ll need some comment. In the event of the war in Gaza, Muslims are asked to boycott all Israel’s and US products. If we, all the Islamic countries stop buying goods from US, it will affect their economy and we hope it will therefore stop them from giving unnecessary funds to help the Israelis.

But, what will happen to the Muslims in the US? They also will be affected by the economy. What happen to the Muslims workers in our country? Those working in the McDonalds, Starbucks and all other company that we are suppose to boycott. Now with the recession problem affecting the world, where can they find another job when big companies are planning for strike off?

What is our responsibility toward other Muslims? What should we do in helping other Muslims around the globe?

ai-na : i care...

~3rd Intifadha'~

read most of my friends blog, everyone talked about Palestine. it hurts me whenever i came across news stating the condition of our fellow muslims there who were killed and tortured mercilessly. what should i do, what should we do?
those idiots talked about humanity and freedom, they help those people in need from around the world, let the world know that they care. but why they overlooked on what happened in Palestine? still they helped israel in destroying and killing muslims in Palestine. is these humanity? is this freedom?
the israels cut all help sent for palestine people saying those muslims are terrorist, but they asked for helped from outside to kill the palestinian. who are the terrorist actually? hamas attacked the israelis soldier but israels attack all the innocence people including womens and children which is in United States, children are to be protected. but does the americans protect the children of palestine? NO! they helped the israels to kill them by giving fund and support!
we can just pray for those muslims in Palestine, may ALLAH help them in facing whatever difficulties set upon them. pray for them to stay strong in fighting for their rights and protecting Islam.
Ya ALLAH, please protect my friends and family in Islam there in Palestine and around the world as they fight for Islam. Please help them and make them strong to fight the enemies of Islam. Amin.

ai-na : the world is nearing to an end...